Cause I can’t shake this...

...Fire burning deep inside my heart.

I finally feel like writing. Wait, let me rephrase that. I finally am not exhausted, tired, or busy. I still don't feel like I have the words to write what I want to, but then again, I usually don't.

I finished an amazing book this past week. It's called The Weight of Silence: Invisible Children of India, by Shelley Seale. A long time ago, I read the book The Irresistable Revolution, by Shane Claiborne. I had said the entire time I was reading the book that this was one of those books that changes your life, that you think about for a long time after reading... one that makes you want to run around and tell everyone about it and everything you want to do because of the book. Well, this book was like that. Except worse. And by worse, I mean COMPLETELY AMAZING.

It is everything I've wanted to do, all wrapped up in one book. It assured me that social work is what I want to major in, that India is where I want to go, that children need a family, no matter where they grow up... whether it is inner city Milwaukee, or the Dharavi Slum in Mumbai, and that I can make a difference. Each time I'd put down the book, all I wanted to do was hop on a plane and go to India. I wouldn't get very far since I don't have an Indian Visa or Passport... so I suppose first things first.

I get asked a lot why I want to go to India. There was a passage in the book that completely answers that question in the best way possible:

There were many things Aja respected and admired about my home country - our pursuit and reward of personal excellence, the opportunity for a person of any class to improve their station in life. Many other things he found difficult to understand, such as our preoccupation with money and our complicated lifestyle.

"True wealth," he concluded, "lies not in wanting more, but in needing less." Being here, I had begun to see my own culture, my own beliefs, in a whole new light and re-evaluate them. There was much to be learned in this place.

We were called into breakfast where we were served a delicious assortment of tiny filled pancake-like treats, vegetable-and-spice stuffed rolls, flat bread with mango chutney, and other exotic dishes. We talked leisurely over the meal for more than an hour and I found myself enjoying the relaxing pace, not missing the hectic, constantly harried rush that was my life back home. Our group discussed many things, but the conversation always came back to the children.

"They're so happy," Matt said, echoing the unexpected gift I also felt I'd received by being admitted into the circle of their simple joy. "It humbles me how much they want to share with me. Love is enough here."

Aja nodded. "It is because they know you come without any self-interest. You come only with love. This is the most important thing. Skin doesn't matter, color doesn't matter; only the heart matters. You come to share joy with them - and also sadness, if it is there." Santosh flashed into my mind, sitting on the step forlornly, missing a mother he had never really known. Yes, I had shared both their joys and sorrows.

Aja looked around the table at all of us. "Our support system is a family system, and you are part of the family now." Then he beamed, "You see, the world has become a global village."

I mean, its not really an answer I can just up and give someone if they ask... but its just... exactly. Its just exactly why. I dont know how else to put it. THAT is why I want to go to India.

I feel like I have a lot to write about, but I don't have the words.

OH WELL!

Evan and Gina's Quilt

FINISHED!

Started on Sunday, finished by Wednesday. Because I am awesome.

Time to go edit my list of 25 things. =)

The quilt label for Evan and Gina's wedding quilt.
(click thumbnail for larger image)

Moving closer to the perfect moment...

...And I can still hear the sound.

Evan and Gina's wedding was Saturday. It was small, but wonderful. I cried! So beautiful...

I didn't finish their quilt by their wedding day, but I was able to get the fabric cut and then made a card with some of the extra fabrics... it was totally awesome. I wrote on the inside that it was a "teaser" for what was to come... Gina seemed confused at first, then was like, "wait... ARE YOU MAKING US SOMETHING?!" in an obnoxiously high pitched voice. I said yes, and then she squealed and immediately hugged me. Haha. It was cute.

I DID managed to finish piecing everything together today and have the quilt top done! Now hard part... getting the quilt put together. Oh, and yes, it looks totally awesome. I honestly think it took me longer to cut the fabric than it did to get the thing put together, haha. I've been watching some videos online about how to layer the backing, batting and top together and then do the actual quilting process. Ahhh! I think I'm just going to do really simple "stitch in the ditch" quilting for this one, since its something I can do on my own and dont need help to do it.

I also need to get clear thread. Note for myself.

This is my first quilt, which means I'm completing something on my list! Wooo! As much as I'd like to keep it, I know that Evan and Gina will loooove it =). Plus, I'm really excited to do more now... it was so easy! I know not all quilts are easy, but this one was so fun to do. Love it. I also used expensive fabrics for their quilt, so knowing that I can throw something together for cheap rocks. Also, the pattern I followed gives directions for bedding sizes, too. Awesome!

I totally forgot about something I wanted to do for the backing... so I might still do that...

OH MAN. Totally just found something I want to do now. Update on the quilt later.

Tugged the moon into the ground...

...Turned this bedroom upside down tonight

Took my faith and i breathed it out

Then walked right through a cloud of flashing lights, bright lies.

I woke up Saturday morning in shock, mostly because I slept the entire night without waking up every 30 minutes (seriously). I was also thrilled to find that my nose was no longer dripping with snot or clogged only on one side. Hallelujah! When I went to see my doctor on Friday, she said the last time I was in with a sinus infection was in October. It seems like anytime my allergies kick up or I get a cold (which I think it was allergies in October, and a cold this time around) I end up with a sinus infection. Awesome. At least the antibiotics start working like... ASAP. I was on them for less than 24 hours and almost felt entirely well again.

I spent quality time with the parents this past weekend... Saturday was my Dad's work party at the Irish Pub in town. They have a shuffleboard table and a pool table in back... we ate dinner there and then ended up playing those until 10:30! I dont remember the last time my parents were up past 9:30, haha, let alone out and DOING things. Time well spent.

I got to see Keri and Aeden on Sunday... for the first time since October... and that was only like... 30 minutes tops at the little farmer. Before that I cant even remember.... sad. BUT, we did get together and it was great. We got all caught up on each others lives (although, I didn't really have much to update about). Aeden is talking a whole bunch now, love it! He was showing me how he can count all the way to twenty... Keri had mentioned he'll forget some numbers, but this is what happened. All was well until, "nine... ten... eleven... twelve... thirteen... orange..." to which Keri and I started laughing uncontrollably, haha. Oh, that kid. I love him.

But my most favorite thing of all was when he said my name. It was the first time I'd heard him say my name. Ever.

I almost cried.

I'm not even kidding you.

Here is this baby that I know and love, my Aeden, the baby who will be 25 months old tomorrow... saying my name. The little boy I rocked to sleep, snuggled with, cuddled, fed, stared at, smiled with, and LOVED... All grown up into a little boy... A beautiful, loving, little boy.

My heart melts.

Keri seems happy, too. Which is huge. Things didn't work out with Nick, and even if they did, I'm not entirely sure she'd be happy. She now has someone who loves her AND Aeden, and that is so important. I've only met him once, but he's a great guy from what she's said and he was very nice. I'm so happy for her, I really am.

I woke up today feeling so refreshed. I felt ready to take on the world, seriously. I woke up on my own at some ungodly hour... something like 5:30 am. I had to get up at 6 anyways, but still. WHATTHEHECK. I woke up and just took my time today, which was nice. I was just in a good mood all day. Milestones was all fine and dandy. I was actually excited to go to school. I swear, I probably had a skip in my step. I have NO idea why I was so happy today... not that I'm complaining, haha. I came home and busted out my new hardcore sewing machine... the auto presser foot is the COOLEST thing ever... and its like the least awesome thing this machine can do, haha. I attempted my first tshirt dress as a practice one for Maddie... so cute! Watched the kiddos later and then went for pasta with my sister for dinner. Today was just... good. And NOTHING out of the ordinary happened. I just had a good day =) Craaaazy.

I'm zonked though, and its only 10. I guess thats what you get when your body tells you to get up at 5:30 in the morning, ha.